Last weekend Matt, Alex, & Nick came up for a free Avett Brothers concert. All the couches were full, 2 24 packs of PBR were somehow consumed within 2 days, and not a lot of sleep happened.
The concert was suuper good, with lots of beards and banjo! But soo many people turned up in the street that somehow Matt & I got separated from the group. So we drank whiskey and tried to crowd weave to the front, but couldn’t get close enough to see much on stage.
After the concert we regrouped, and were trailed by a ridiculously happy, drunk frat boy who looked like Anton Yelchin. Alex saved him from some cops who were going to arrest him for public drunkenness, and we named him Bro because no one could remember his name. So we decided to go on a quest to drop Bro off at a frat house since he’d lost all his friends and really couldn’t handle himself. On the way there he taught me The Secret Handshake which involved dancing in a circle while shaking your feet. Eventually we arrived at a frat house, and on the porch some initiation thing was going on I guess, because a huge blonde frat boy with a whip was yelling at some poor chubby little freshman to “recite the chant”. We abandoned Bro to the man with the whip (feeling slightly guilty. But also not. This is what you get when you pay for friends!).
On our way back to the apartment, we passed a frat mansion with the door cracked open. I wanted to explore, so Alex & I ventured inside. It looked like Hogwarts! Super Christmas-y with a massive tree & spiral staircase. Alex talked to some (really stupid, but really nice) frat boys who told us to explore their house, & find some water in their cafeteria. So we explored, never found the cafeteria, complimented some guys on their lovely deck, & escaped out the back gate.
So that was my experience with fraternities, and I can officially say that all the stereotypes are true.
Also this whole time Nick had been tripping. When we got back to the apartment he told us how he thought that we were all spies in on some huge conspiracy that he couldn’t figure out, especially when we did The Secret Handshake with Bro. & How he couldn’t understand the slang words we used or the references we made, so it sounded like we were speaking in code all night.
The next day I went to work and sold red hooker boots to a incredibly friendly drag queen with gold fangs.
It was a happy weekend :)